Porn is love you can see.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
