Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Actions speak louder than pants.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
