Please, let me fuck your mom
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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