Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A+ Viking dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
