Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
