Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
