He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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