That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
