it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
being pregnant is like rehab
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
