just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
