I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize