Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
