is your mom at the bar?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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