hotel room ftw
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
