Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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