Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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