Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i out mim tonsoeep
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
