we're blogging at a bar
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
