oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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