the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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