Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
