Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
