At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
