You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
