i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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