"it" just moved
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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