i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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