Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
