what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
