ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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