Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
