i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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