if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
