Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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