If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
