In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
