You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
