I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
