But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
