girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
