im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
