yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
BRING THE BAGELS
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
