Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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