i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
