how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
