a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
