Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
