Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
