he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
