so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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