Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Holy shit dude........stairs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
