He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
