that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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