I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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