Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
